i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
