just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
