Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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