My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
