Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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