i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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