you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
