Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
