I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
