Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
