We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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