wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
