i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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