o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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