So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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