is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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