He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
