Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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