Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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