Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
