Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
