Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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