He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
