wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
