Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
