you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Randomize
