Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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