I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
