Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
