found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
