A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
