I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm bleeding and have questions
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
