i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
