I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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