hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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