If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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