before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
