I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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