Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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