I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
