Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
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