I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
