I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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