Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
