so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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