i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
