why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
