i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
