the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
