so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
