How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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