All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
