I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
