Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
